A ladies guide to dating profile pics: The 12 most
frequent profile pictures in online dating by type and what they say about your
perspective partner
1. The, Machu Picchu I love to travel pic. Congratulations, you could potentially go on a date
with somebody who has left the country! This person wants you to know they are
worldly and have a great sense of adventure. Indeed they bought a lonely planet
guide to Peru, a backpack from REI, and took a lot of pics that they uploaded
immediately to instagram. But ladies-- thinking these are good signs is a
common pitfall in online dating, and trust me, you can do better. They are
liable to include an obnoxious caption like “bonus points if you can guess
where this picture was taken.” WE ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THOSE PICTURES WERE
TAKEN!!! Trust me, those are not bonus points you care to earn.
2. The, I have so many friends and here I am pounding
cheap beers with them pic. Might as
well just go to a bar to meet this winner.
3. The, here I am playing basketball or wind surfing,
coincidentally with my shirt off, pic.
If your primary interest in
men is hot bod, than this is probably a pretty good sign that the person in
question has a hot bod. Though men frequently deceive about appearance the way
women do, men who make a big show of their abdominal muscles, probably
legitimately have nice abdominal muscles.
If all their pictures are hot bod pictures, this likely says something
about their personality/ motivations for online dating. If they have managed to
somehow casually include one amongst otherwise socially appropriate pictures,
and especially if they have somehow managed to provide a witty caption acknowledging
their vanity- this suggest the guy is self confident, perhaps a little cocky, but
good in bed.
4. The mirror shot. This person did not go to college. If academic achievement is important
to you, move ahead. Mirror shots are no longer an appropriate form of
representation for those of us who went to an accredited four-year university.
5. The at-a-friend’s wedding pic. Success! This guy has friends. Not only that, he has
friends who are capable of commitment and marriage. He also has an outfit
appropriate for such an event and he might even be a suitable date to your
friends wedding, which you are currently going to solo. Note again, variety is
key. If every pic is a friend wedding pic, they are probably feeling pretty
ready to have a wedding pic of their own. In that case, proceed with caution.
6.
The, my pic
has a stamp from another online dating site pic. They’ve already exhausted one site, and for good
reason no doubt. Next.
7.
The, I am a
hipster, just sitting here in my skinny jeans and Ray-bans pic. If you want a craft beer and a casual date where you
can discuss art and politics in a broad strokes kind of way-- this is your man!
Proposed topics for date: how Macklemore
is now too main stream for your tastes, what you liked/hated about the second
season of GIRLS, or the absurdity of proposition 8! Marriage equality now!
8.
The, just
playing some golf, but it’s no big deal pic. Want to eventually settle down, quit your job, and move to a nice house in
the suburbs? Look no further! Over a glass of wine and an overpriced small
plate of sautéed greens don’t forget to mention your second home in Maine. Not to be confused with the, ‘Here I am posing in front of my kind of
nice car pic.’ This is just not acceptable and it does not foreshadow any
eventual three-car garage.
9. The, I am man and this is my dog pic. This could go so many ways. On the one hand, men who
love dogs are usually men who love. This is good. In addition, and with any
luck, this man has an apartment large enough to house said dog. However, this
could mean they live in the suburbs. Also, and especially if the picture
features the dog more prominently than it features the man, it could suggest
obsession with animal (some men love
their dog too much) or bad looks (camera shy = warning sign).
10. The, strangely professional head shot pic. Maybe I’m just being judgmental at this point- but
this isn’t LinkedIn! The point of a profile pic is to show personality, not to
network. This might be related to the, ‘Young
professional, here I am in a suit pic.’ This person has one suit and wears
it to their unpaid internship three days a week.
11. The, I love nature, here I am hiking pic. If you don’t like nature, than don’t pretend you do,
because you might find yourself on a first date hiking old rag. If, however, you do care for nature then dust
off your climbing shoes that are hiding in the back of your closet and send a
message detailing your latest skiing excursion in Colorado. Don’t mention how
you prefer boozing in the lodge to going down the hills. All with due time…
12.
And finally, the, weirdly all of my
pictures are from my one visit to Chicago pic set. This
is a surprisingly frequent type. Though you may be compelled to think, it’s not
that weird, resist! It is that weird. Why does he only have so
many pictures from one trip to Chicago? Why is he always posing alone in front
of tourist sites? Why is he being a tourist by himself in Chicago!! Doesn’t he
have any friends!! Something about this is just not quite right. Side note: Any
picture that has a disclaimer like, “this is from 2009 but I look roughly same”
should immediately be discredited. This is the age of the iPhone/ Facebook. If
you haven’t had a suitable picture of you taken in the last 3 years, this says
something either about your waning appearances or your non-existent social
life.
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