A hearty mabrook to the Arab League for finalizing their purchase of the UN

The United Nations, never one to shy away from the open anti-Semitism of many of its member states, yesterday reached a level of cowardice and malevolence rarely before reached.   The UN cowed in front of the least democratic political body in world history, whose members are open sponsors of terrorism, whose citizens can't vote, countries in which no dissent is tolerated, notorious exporters of radical Islamic theology, sectarian and religious hatred, and importers of slaves.  Yes, the Arab League, led by such luminaries as Saudi Arabia and Iraq, now is the controlling voice on matters of culture and heritage.  Here is the relevant news press release-esque information courtesy of Newsmax.  My analysis after the quote:  

"UNESCO, the United Nations Educational Scientific and Cultural Organization, has canceled a Jewish exhibit in Paris that it has been working on for two years after a recent protest from the Arab League. 
"People, Book, Land — The 3,500 Year Relationship of the Jewish People and the Land of Israel," was scheduled to open Jan. 20 at UNESCO's Paris headquarters. It was a corroborative effort of the the UN organization and the Simon Wiesenthal Center, based in Los Angeles, The Algemeiner reported. 
The Jewish organization was informed that the exhibit was canceled on Jan. 14 in a letter citing the Arab League, which claimed that the exhibit "could create potential obstacles related to the peace process in the Middle East."
Abdulla al Neaimi, President of the Arab group in UNESCO, sent a letter to Irina Bokova, president of UNESCO, saying that there was "deep worry and great disapproval" about the exhibit because it showed that Israel and the Jewish people have an ancient connection.
"The subject of the exhibition is highly political though the appearance of the title seems to be trivial," the Arab League wrote. "Most serious is the defense of the theme which is one of the reasons used by the opponents of peace within Israel." 

So the head of the Arab League (of tyrants) deems a cultural exhibition about the undisputed links between Jews and Israel as a potential obstacle for peace.  That doesn't make sense, unless you think of the real goal of the Arab League vis-a-vis Israel, which is its eradication, a term that certainly encompasses denial of the history of the Jewish people.  Just as Holocaust denier Mahmoud Abbas double-talks about peace in English, while giving much more fiery remarks in Arabic, the Arab League promises that Arab states will welcome Israel as long as the latter accepts the Saudi peace plan (3 words that should never be used together), which means accepting all the Palestinian refugees from the 1948 and their descendants, which would render Israel an Arab-majority country and reduce Jews to their place from time immemorial in the Arab world, that of dhimmis.  

New Year's Resolutions from DC

Jews 4 Ginobili's DC bureau obtained exclusive interviews with Barack Obama and John Boehner to ascertain their aspirations for the coming year:

Barack Obama

1.  I will never again take a selfie at a funeral.

"While I acknowledge that this wasn't my best decision, I just want to say for the record that I don't really see what was SO bad about this.  Sure, it was probably not the best time/place for a selfie, but come on, what are the odds of me being with two world leaders in a place where we thought that the cameras would be elsewhere?  If anyone should apologize, it should be Michelle for being so damn grumpy.  I asked her to take the picture, but she was about as willing to help as she was later that evening in the hotel."  

 2.  I will never again flirt with another woman while my wife is present.

"Did Michelle have a right to be angry about this?  I guess.  Honestly, I thought she was too busy watching the fake sign language guy to even notice Helle and I joking and whispering sweet nothings to each other.  There are certain things that Michelle will never understand that Helle just gets, like what it is like to be a community organizer, or spending every other paycheck on blow, or being the head of a country."

3.  I will never again lie to the American people.

"Of all my mistakes over the past year, I regret this one the most.  Usually when I lie for political gain (like when I pretended for years to be religious and against same-sex marriage to get the moderates to vote for me (LOL)), it works.  This time, I really shit the bed.  I just hope that in the end, if Obamacare.gov ever starts functioning normally, people will forget about this.  Also, to be fair to myself, I really thought that people would be able to keep their plans.  Does that sound sincere?"

John Boehner 

1.  I will no longer be a lazy, petulant, crying, drunken bigot. 

"Before I begin, I would like to take a moment to say thank you to all the DC bartenders who have ever called me a cab, or alerted me via our secret hand gestures  that the prostitute with whom I was flirting had an STD (double tap on the right ear), or was a transvestite (counter-clockwise belly rub).  You guys have literally saved my life.  I would like to say that I will never forget what you have done for me, but let's just say my memory isn't the best these days (I had to call my chief of staff at 3:30 in the morning last night to tell the taxi driver where I live).  That being said, I realize I need to make some changes.  My normal routine of 2 glasses of scotch and an hour of the Glenn Beck show every morning just isn't cutting it anymore.  I feel empty and lonely and barely even buzzed.  So, in 2014 and beyond, I am DONE with alcohol.  I want to feel happy.  Thus, I am now committing myself to a life of MDMA and Miley Cyrus-esque raves, sponsored by whichever industry wants me in its pocket.  I promise you, dear citizens, that my dalliance with the bottle is over.    Also, to the staffer I referred to as a fag, I just want to say that I meant it in the best possible way.  You guys are always in shape, fashionable, and know a good bottle of wine when you see one."

2.  Never again will I shut down the government for spite.

"Listen, I admit the shutdown was a mistake.  When I told (Ed: go to 1:30 mark of video) David Gregory that I had no idea if the sequester would help or hurt the economy, that was just for the lolz.  I mean come on, how dumb do you think I am?  I was trolling.  I wanted to tell David Gregory to go fuck himself, like I told Harry Reid."