Throne Don't Lie

There aren’t many topics on which I feel qualified to write.  A cursory search would reveal those topics to be: the NBA, MMA, dating, Middle East history/trends, House of Cards, Game of Thrones, and Jewish culture.

It just so happens that I have figured out a way to combine Game of Thrones and the NBA into a single blog post!  #winning

There is no point in doing a recap of GoT season 4 episode 2; let’s just say (for those who haven’t seen it yet) that it features one of the great twists of the series.  The interbreeding between the families, and the constant shifting in power rankings between the “great houses” (as they are called in the book) has a true NBA ring to it.  If I were to assign a particular NBA franchise to a particular house, here is what it would look like:

Miami Heat = House Lannister

As much as LeBron James seems like a genuinely good person off the court, for a large percentage of fans, he will always be the guy who backstabbed his home town and joined another alpha male’s team in lieu of winning on his own.  The whispers of traitor still ring out behind his back, just as whispers of king slayer ring out behind Jaime Lannister.  The treachery involved in bringing Wade, Bosh, and James together, and LeBron’s perfidiousness in his dealings with Cleveland evoke thoughts of Jamie (who, while a member of the King’s Guard, stabbed the king in the back), Joffrey, Cersei, and the whole despicable bunch.  LeBron would be a Jamie-Joffrey hybrid (the king, after all, but also a slayer), Wade would be Cersei, the vengeful plotter (go ask Kobe about Wade’s vindictive nature—even at the All-Star game, or ask Lance Stephenson how a Dwayne Wade flying elbow feels), Pat Riley would be Tywin (the one calling the shots on a macro level), and Spoelstra would be Tyrion, the clever dwarf always on the verge of getting killed/fired by his more important family/team members.

Oklahoma City Thunder = House Tyrell

There are references made throughout the show to the effect that the Tyrells are the second most powerful family in the seven kingdoms, with a clear eye on overtaking the Lannisters.  Much like the James Harden trade debacle (and keeping Kendrick Perkins on the roster), House Tyrell has made some mistakes in its attempt to climb to the top of the mountain (Margarie's marriages come to mind).  Like the OKC Thunder, House Tyrell is still the most likely candidate to take over the Iron Throne.   In Durant they have a veritable Knight of Flowers (Sir Loras Tyrell), who might be good enough to beat Jamie/LeBron one-on-one.  With Jamie’s loss of his right hand, the advantage would go to Tyrell, just as Durant MAY have passed LeBron this year as the best player alive.  Russell Westbrook would be Margaery then, the one who is not the face of the family/franchise, but who has an x factor (ridiculous athleticism in Westbrook's case, and exquisite beauty in Margaery's case) that can bring glory.

San Antonio Spurs = House Stark

The Red Wedding was the most gut-wrenching television episode I have ever seen.  Similarly, the Spurs' game 6 choke job was the most horrifying athletic contest I've ever seen.  To be that close to victory (in both cases), and to see it all explode instantly, causes a range of emotions that cannot adequately be captured with words alone.

A further similarity between the two teams/houses lies in their morality/stubbornness (which got Ned killed, and which cost the Spurs game 6, when Popovich decided that it would be best to take the greatest power forward in NBA history out of the game to have another guy who could switch off on 3 point shooters, effectively denying his team its best chance to get a rebound).  There is also the matter of the Starks' love of the old gods, and the Spurs' love of being old.  Between Duncan (37), Ginobili (36), and Parker (31), the Spurs have the oldest stars in the league.  There aren't many teams in sports as battle-tested, star-studded, cohesive, and fun to watch as the Spurs, and the Starks/northerners have similarly displayed great valor and success.  Both additionally have impeccable bloodlines, the ability to rally back from unspeakable horror, and a thirst for vengeance.


Chicago Bulls = House Targaryen

At the current juncture, the Bulls, led by Joakim Noah, the team's own version of Barristan Selby (Barristan the Bold in the books), guided by the wisdom and toughness of Tom Thibodeau (Sir Jorah Mormont, anyone?) will do some damage in the playoffs but not get near the throne this year.

Similarly, Daenerys Targaryen is not yet ready to claim the Iron Throne (still has to cross the Narrow Sea, wait for her dragons to grow up, and free every slave she can find).  Despite their mutual current shortcomings (Bulls without D. Rose have about as much offense as a junior high team), both franchises are on the upswing to returning their names to glory.

There are historical parallels between the two: House Targaryen and the Bulls have otherworldly accomplishments in the Seven Kingdoms/the Association, and both feature the most legendary hero in the history of the sport/books (Aegon the Conqueror and Michael Jordan).  In addition, just as Daenerys has the firepower to take over the Seven Kingdoms, when Rose comes back, the Bulls too will be able to take the crown.